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John Lanesmith Emotional Intelligence Article
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Working Inside Out
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You have to work inside out to master and command the emotions. This requires an ability to analyze self, while searching for details in the mind to uncover new information. Sometimes you may run into areas where it seems more than you can take, however a true master will command the memories to flow smoothly through discomfort zones. Facing discomforts is part of a leader, thus if you want to command and master the emotions, you have to develop leadership qualities.
Working inside out will help you to discover who you are. Many people cannot find their identity, which makes it difficult to control and master the mind. Establishing the identity is a start to mastering and commanding the emotions.
You can start by sitting down, clearing the mind. As you clear the mind, close your eyes. Look inward. What do you see? If you feel pressure around the head use your fingers to massage the temple area. This will help bring stress relief. Now think of your emotions. What are your emotions feeling at the moment? Think about your emotions and as they flow freely, allow them to come forward. Do you feel sad? If so, why do you feel sad? Do you feel depressed? If so, why do you feel depressed? Do you feel angry? As you can see, if you debate mentally you can learn to understand your emotions.
Understanding your emotions can help you get a grip on your identity. Now you can sit down and think about what type of person you are? What are your goals? What is your purpose in life? Many people fail to see their purpose in life, which stresses the emotions. Once the emotions are stressed, the person often finds it difficult to master and command their own mind.
To help you see the process of working inside out we can consider a few traits. Let's think of fear, which is the ultimate root of emotional triggering. Fear can make a person feel withdrawn from others around him. This is a trait of introverted identity, which reserves the person from achieving his ultimate goals. It holds back the person, yet to defeat it you must look inward to determine why the feeling exists inside you. Once you find a reason, along with details you can move ahead to master this fear.
Another action, feeling, expression etc that stems from fear is at what time a person feels overly sensitive, thus he might think everyone around him is criticizing his every move. We see many people who have this fear, because people will go on the defense line to defend their actions, words, etc. The truth is something inside is bothering the person. It takes you to look inward to find the problem, form the details, and work through the issues. This is a step in commanding and mastering the emotions.
Self-deprecating is another area problem that shows fear exists within the mind. The fear comes out through critical insults, offensive actions, words, belittling, or disparaging. This person has a fear inside, which likely stems back to childhood. The problem is deep, however if you look inward find the problem, accumulate details and surrounding information you may find a way out.
Some people have problems showing assertiveness, which is a leader quality that helps a person stay in control of his own emotions. Most likely, this person endured wrongful punishment along his way in life. The person likely has no boundaries or limits established, and fear that someone will harm him if he asserts his thoughts, facts, opinions, etc. The trait is tricky to understand, but it takes power of the mind to work through the problem to resolve the fear. It is a fear holding him back, and he must face that fear to gain commander and mastership over his emotions.
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