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How to Achieve Leadership Qualities While Thinking
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Thinking is a process that must be cultivated through learning, experience, teaching, etc. Thinking is what leaders use to deal with problems and hunt down resolves to conquer the problems. Leaders take on large tasks knowing they have the ability to use their minds to complete the mission. Thinking is a mood or state of mind. As you can see, many people fail to use this leadership qualities, since they often feel moody while complex issues arise. This is missing the mood, and putting a state of frustration in front. The person may feel uneasy as problems occur.
Use your imagination and conjure up some examples to help you see leader qualities misplaced. The examples in this picture will have real life actors in the scene however; the actors are fictional. In other words, somewhere in life this experience happened, however we're using fictional characters to avoid imposing on the rights of others.
Let's consider a leader and follower problem area:
Problem: A couple begins arguing. This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last. The couple points fingers at each other.
Picture it: "You're the most selfish person I know," says Keri.
"You're the one selfish woman," says Jeri.
The woman comes back, "You're the one who's always thinking of your own needs. I can't think of one time you ever thought about my needs."
He says, "Oh yea, it seems to me that you're the one who considers your own needs. All you do is complain about me...I don't do this...I don't do that. I never take you out; I never have regards for your efforts. This is all I hear from you."
She comes back, "Me, I'm only pointing out the facts. You don't even bother to thank me for cooking dinner for you. You don't let down the toilet seat, thinking of me. You can't even change a roll of toilet paper or a light bulb. Heck, I can't even get you to take out the garbage."
He says, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I try my best to show you that I care. I always think of you and try to find ways to make you feel better.
Ok, this is problem is a common issue in relationships. Let's break it down for the two and see if we can resolve the problem. First, think of what leader qualities you see in this scene. Do you see leader qualities?
Actually, one set of leadership qualities truly show in this illustration. What do you think that quality is? Is you said the usage of "I feel" on the man's part then you're right. Still, he shows very few leadership qualities and he's a big part of the problem.
Solution:
This woman is apparently feeling neglected and unappreciated. Why is she feeling this way? What is he doing to make her feel this way? Is this her true feelings? We see tons of emotions coming out in this picture. How can we determine if emotions aren't overriding the thoughts and if the feelings are valid? What's the true problem?
Ok, if we take the "you" out of the scene and use "I feel," more often it could reduce the problems. "You" is a defense, criticism, judgment, accuser and all those negative words that lead to bigger problems. The husband could start showing actions to better his self to enhance the relationship by showing these actions in his behavior. The wife could realize that some of the complaints are invalid. For instance, I don't go to the bathroom thinking of someone, rather I go for relief. While I don't have a mate, I would not waste my time if I did have a mate, sweating over the toilet seat. This goes two ways.
Now, instead of me showing you the problem and helping you to find resolves for this couple, think of ways you can resolve the problem by looking at the problem.
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