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Self Confidence in Children
from:I'm sure you've witnessed the spirit and self-confidence of a child who is confident she can do anything. Who's to say that she won't become a firefighter veterinarian princess when she grows up? Tragically, this indomitable spirit can be lost when faced with difficulties at school or at home.
Bullies can cause a child's self-confidence to plummet with their constant teasing and torment. First, you should teach your child some tactics for dealing with bullies, such as ignoring the bully and telling an adult. While some children may feel that they're "tattling," it's important for an adult to know that bullying is going on at the school, daycare or other location. If the problem doesn't stop, be ready to press for a solution. Instead of just complaining, though, consider talking to your child's school about the feasibility of starting a school-wide anti-bullying program. You might feel hesitant going that far, but it's worth doing it for the sake of all the bullied children at the school, and even for the sake of the bullies who aren't learning the proper way to relate to others.
While the very idea of a bully can bring up unpleasant thoughts and memories for parents, they need to be aware that friends can cause just as much heartbreak as bullies for young children. Whether they're keeping an uncoordinated child out of the recess soccer game or telling secrets in the restroom, friends have the power to lower your son or daughter's confidence.
You can help by discussing what makes a good friend with your child. This may help keep him away from those who are only out to use or hurt him. If a problem is ongoing, you may want to bring up your concerns with the classroom teacher or with the parents of the offending children.
You may wish to help your child work on conflict resolution skills. You can work through potential situations through role play and discuss the best way to deal with the conflicts that are bound to arise at school or when hanging out with friends. Your child will be happier in the long run, and will also feel more confident in herself for being able to handle small arguments without having to run to an adult for help.
Unfortunate life situations like divorce or death can shatter a child's world. His confidence in everything from his parents to himself can be lost. Talking to your child about the recent changes can go a long way toward making him feel secure. Also try to maintain routines and traditions as much as possible to provide a sense of security. Therapy may be also be an option to help a child sort through his feelings in a neutral environment.
These are some weighty issues, but sometimes a lack of confidence comes from a much simpler issue -- not doing well in school. If your child is having trouble with her schoolwork, be ready to provide the necessary support. Set aside a time for homework and offer your help in explaining problems, but don't go so far as to do your child's homework. Make sure your child is responsible for things like writing down homework assignments and remembering to return her homework to school. Ask your child's teacher if there is any extra work available for skills practice. If a dedicated effort to studying and extra help don't work, look into physical factors such as a need for glasses or a reading difficulty. With improved success, confidence will grow.
No matter what the cause of a child's lack of confidence, you can help the most by staying alert. Look for sudden changes in your child's behavior or a sudden lack of interest in activities they previously enjoyed. Early intervention can help get to the root of the problem and allow you to work towards a solution quickly before permanent damage is done. This isn't to say that you will shelter your child from all of the troubles of life, but by being aware and supportive, you can help him navigate problems easily to get back on track.
A child's confidence creates the foundation for later success in life. Do everything you can to make sure your child has the proper foundation.
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